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SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Gorillas are actually very gentle unless provoked by overpriced footwear or long lines for cheap beverages

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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Gorillas are actually very gentle unless provoked by overpriced footwear or long lines for cheap beverages

lemmy.dbzer0.com

SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Gorilla might come at you because fuck you. Mamba is scared shitless of you.

    • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social
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      Yeah, just stay out in the open away from places a snake might hide so that you don’t accidentally scare one, and the Mambas should be fine.

      • BigMoe@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        Yeah my son has gotten really into snakes. They reallly just want you to leave them alone. Good thing too since they can move at 12 mph

        • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          12mph is coincidentally the speed my bowels would empty if I saw a black mamba coming at me at that speed.

          • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Amateur, I can make my bowels empty faster than 12 mph in recreational settings.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      There are hidden hallways behind the shops, if you can get back there the gorilla won’t ever find you. Hell go to the elevator or a bathroom and just chill for a day.

      • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Gorillas are some sneaky motherfuckers. That’s the first place they’ll hide waiting for you.

        • thesporkeffect@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          They’re not drop bears!

          • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            A gorilla is just five five drop bears in a fucking trench coat and you can’t prove me wrong.

        • Wogi@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Stop at the CinnaBon first then. Throw a roll and run away.

          • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Decoy roll.

          • Cheems@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            That’s terrible! You just don’t mess with a person’s sweetroll…

    • QuantumStorm@lemmy.world
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      They may be, but it’s still terrifying to find out one was sleeping in your bed springs after you found one on your windowsill the night before.

      • Fishbone@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I feel like the same is true of a gorilla though.

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