I didn’t mean for this post to cause a bunch of arguing in the comments =(
I thought this was just some gallows humor (e.g. “Everything’s lovely except that I have to fear for my safety all the time”) type of shitpost that sounded similar to comments I’ve heard from women irl a lot.
Police SOP: shoot the victim, shoot the perp, shoot a bystander, and for good measure, shoot the bystander’s dog.