Posting this because I can’t really talk to my family or whatever. I have one main friend but I don’t think she cares on a deeper level so it always just feels like I’m alone. Who do you guys turn to for help? It’s always been a struggle for me, it’s like no one is really there. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again and I’m not contempt with my own thoughts and it’s hard for me to get over it. I’m not sure if I’m just depressed and I’m so good at hiding it or I’m just so numb to everything. I forget so much of my past and it’s so hard for me to sit with myself and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I just lost something so good in my life because I made a big mistake and that’s also something I won’t get over. I can’t win things back and it’s sad to accept reality of things. Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to
I daydream. I’ll “go” somewhere else. I know it’s no more than me talking to myself, but I’ll daydream someone who really likes me or cares for me, and I’ll “talk” to them. Not really to fix it, but to kind of resolve it.
I was extremely unpopular in school and I’m an only child of a single mother. I spent a lot of time by myself, and still do. I’ve had a lot of practice.