• null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    Do people often blame you for their kids doing those things?

    People might tell you about it because… you know… maybe they think you’re a friend or maybe they’re just venting or maybe they’re making small talk.

    Parents often make the mistake of thinking everyone understands what it’s like. They’re trying to find common ground by sharing those struggles.

    If you don’t like it, just channel the conversation to something you do like. That said, sometimes it’s just good to let people vent. People like talking about their kids, and it’s a sneaky way to ingratiate yourself to them.

    • ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      Think of it more like someone complaining that they lost money on crypto trading.

      It’s very Billy Crystal SNL “oh I hate when that happens”

      • null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        Sure ok.

        Of course its fine to dislike engaging with someone who complains about crypto or kids, but making a judgement on someone’s reasoning for having kids is a whole other thing.

        Having kids doesn’t stack up for you. Totally fine.

        However, asserting that your own reasons apply to everyone else is arrogant.

        • seralth@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Iv basically never met a single parent that non stopped bitched about their kids that was also a good parent.

          While iv also basically never met a single parent that wouldn’t shut up about how much they love their kid that wasn’t a good parent.

          While a parent can do a little of both, it’s pretty damn obvious which way a person leans after even a short amount of time. People self report real God damn fast on this topic.

          And frankly there’s way more of A then B.

          • ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            26 minutes ago

            I’m not even talking about good parents vs bad parents. I’m talking about the reasons people have kids. What is the positive reason to have children? I can’t think of one that isn’t a bad prediction, like wanting to bring a good person into the world. It’s not like raising children is a fun fair either. So it’s rewarding? Well first of all that’s selfish, second of all that’s something that people apply to literally every difficult situation they manage to get through.

            So what’s the utilitarian reason for having kids? They’re all either selfish or prideful. Even if you’re a good parent.

            Everyone is like “no you’re wrong” but I’m not seeing any actual counter arguments or examples of reasons to have kids that aren’t ultimately self-interested and/or bad speculation.