Last night I had a hookup for the first time. I told the guy I wanted him to use a condom, which offended him because he was like, “Why do I need to use one if you already have an IUD? Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?” I told him I just don’t know him that well. Either way it was fine in the end, he put it on and it was a fine night. Now I’m thinking, was I being a pushover?
“Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?”
Based on your willingness to rawdog strangers, yes.
STDs asside, IUD’s are not 100% effective. I personally know someone who got pregnant with one and, let me tell you, it is not an experience you want to go through. Especially if you live in a no-abortion state.
The cool thing about contraceptives is that their efficiency is multiplicative. If an IUD is 98% (2 in 100 failure rate) effective and a condom is 80% (20 in 100), you now have a 99.6% (0.4 in 100) effective rate, or a 1 in 250 chance at getting pregnant in a year of regular sex. So, on average you get pregnant once every 125 years.
No this is basic protection stuff. Big red flag on him for resisting. Advocate for your health and protection when your partner refuses to do so, and you’ll likely live longer than if you hadn’t.
No. Firstly, no means of contraception is 100% effective; stacking them further reduces the likelihood of unwanted conception. Defense in depth is your friend.
Also, sometimes people can catch something without being aware of it. He might have an infection he’s not aware of. You might have one. The condom protects both of you. If you want to do it without, get yourselves tested.
And all of that is under the assumption that everyone is honest and has the best of intentions, which… isn’t always the case.
A “pushover” is someone whose mind is easily changed by pressure, not someone who is pushy or who pushes other people around.
IUDs fail. Condoms fail. With their powers combined they fail significantly less.
No and anyone who says no is suspect. Fluid bonding with a hookup is stupid. It’s a kind of stupid that’s common, but there’s a reason experienced nonmonogamists will often either demand a recent clean test with no new partners since it or protection. And he doesn’t know you’re clean.
Also if you aren’t prepared for an abortion or a kid it’s generally a good idea to use two contraception methods before having potentially reproductive sex
If a guy makes a fuss over putting on a condom at all, then I’d consider him as out for future dates.
No contraceptive option is 100% and being concerned about STIs with hook ups is a VERY valid reason. He may have something and not exhibiting signs yet to be recognized.
My older cousin told me one time “Contraception is a team sport that both people can play but you are the goalie of your own health. Whatever your partner intends, your health and child-free future depends on you asserting your boundaries and holding them”
I may have cared about my partners but so far there still hasn’t been a baby I regret not having
A man that acts like that will eventually be std ridden. I don’t know the statistics by heart but something like 20 % of people are asymptomatic and I’d wager a fair percentage pretend and don’t want to admit they have something as well because of the shame.
Is requiring a guy to wear a condom over the top?
No. Definitely not over the top. No other information is needed. If you were married for 20 years and you wanted condoms your husband should respect that.
Not over the top! Wtf?! Fuck that dude (not literally though bc he doesn’t deserve it).
Always wear a condom if you don’t know somebody’s STD status. If you’re hooking up with somebody for the first time, you have no clue what they could be exposing you to. People lie about that shit all the time.
If they’re expecting you to have casual sex without a condom why tf would it be wise to assume they don’t do that shit all the time?
perfectly normal to demand it from him, he should have simply stfu
Uh, no. It’s 100% expected and advisable to use condoms for hookups, and push back on the request would be a deal breaker for me.
Guy is a dangerous idiot. You should always use protection.
