Apparently liquor stores make their money off of hard-core drinkers and alcoholics, so liquor ads (and liquor store employee customer support) are designed not to attract new customers but rather to make the existing customers think their level of drinking is normal and acceptable.

“I didn’t realize it was possible to cough up your pancreas”.

I really hope I’m dead before we have androids.

Can’t hear the dialog | Christopher Nolan

Sorry, I meant “motion capture Morgan Freeman”. Harriet Tubman would be CGI of course.

Medieval history especially

At least we have Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

they tend to be great talkers and networkers

This is selling them a bit short. They’re also generally pretty good at raping aspiring actresses.

does “Dr. Kwame Nkrumah” mean anything to you?

C’mon, there are lots of NBA fans outside of the United States.

AI Morgan Freeman

In the neighborhood with affordable houses …

I used to work for a west coast tech giant. Their early retirement package was: “you are retiring now, goodbye” along with a severance just large enough to disqualify me from unemployment. At least I didn’t have to spend months pretending to look for work.

I used to hang out with some behavioral psychology (BF Skinner stuff) graduate students. They transport pigeons head-down in juice pitchers; I asked them how they got the pigeons into those pitchers, and they showed me that they just open the cages and hold the pitchers up and the birds dive into them, sometimes knocking themselves out in the process. They are into that lever-pressing shit, although TBF that’s mainly because they’re maintained at 80% of a normal diet so that the reinforcing effect of the food pellets is maximized.

FWIW pigeons can be trained to do some pretty interesting shit. Skinner had them playing ping-pong, and really competing at it - like, they got rewarded for winning shots, not just for hitting the ball back. Skinner also had a scheme going to use pigeons to steer flying bombs into enemy ships during WWII.

I do recommend drugs, at least weed and the hallucinogens.

Their Shakes are pretty good.

my parents also wanted me to stop listening to it because my dad found one article about a guy who beat up his girlfriend and he apparently liked Metallica

My dad once picked me up from a party when I was in high school in the 1980s; he noticed a video that was playing on MTV and was highly disturbed by the imagery in it, as he told me later (many times).

The video was “Cuts Like a Knife” by Bryan Adams. My dad thought he was losing me to Satan because of fucking Bryan Adams!

LOL

extra power under load to the rear wheels

Lol like there’s enough room back there to add a load.

I went to grad school in the '90s and one of our friends used to show up to our house parties with her infant in tow and get blackout drunk and pass out, and we would have to collectively take care of the baby. Weird to think that kid is in his 30s by now, if he’s even still alive. The double whammy of fetal alcohol syndrome and growing up in Florida would be hard to overcome.

It translates to “you have Play-Doh on your forehead”.

I haven’t really eaten fast food in years, but a few months ago I was sort of forced to get lunch at a Burger King because it was the only place around. It (a Whopper and onion rings) was actually pretty tasty, a lot better than what I was expecting. But I just felt so physically bad after eating it, like I just wanted to lay down somewhere and die. Maybe it was all the salt, I dunno. When you combine this with the insane prices, it’s a just a mystery why anyone would eat this shit regularly.