There’s been some great ideas here, but I like yours the best.

Bill Burr complaining about being forced to be the pope would be amazing.

“I’m not going to lead mass. Leading mass is Charlie Work!”

Huh. Pope Joan?

Does anyone have any clue?

My best guess would be some relatively passive notification stealing focus.

As reddeadhead mentioned, there’s specific “don’t steal focus” settings. I’ve had good luck with them.

I don’t know enough about it to confidently say they’re going to lose all their money

It happened to my relative. They didn’t lose everything, but they lost enough that they’re shopping for a mobile home for retirement, when they previously could have bought a small house.

Plausible explanation.

This was really helpful. Thank you.

I remember those days, as well!

Jeff Bezos never smashed the window on my car to steal my speakers,

True.

he doesnt come out vandalising public transport or parks and he isnt the reason my wife doesnt feel safe walking around at night.

If we could even comprehend the scale of his unpaid taxes, or their impact on our parks, we might discuss this at length…

The surprisingly deep copy of Balatro in “Dave the Diver” is pretty good.

Did I miss something, or is a 12 year old in France now in (indefinite?) police custody for being curious online?