Do you still have to say “snoodle snoodle”?

I hate eating the same thing every day, but it does work.

“honey, today’s your last day of work. Then it’s just you and me 24hrs a day.”

Operation failed successfully

Meme coin goes badly? How did I not see this coming?

The following states never expanded Medicaid.

Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kansas, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Wisconsin, and Wyoming

If anyone was confused why some very red states weren’t on the list

Maybe my wife will buy it for her boyfriend

What about Greenland? Don’t let that dream die, Donny!

I use an app called Tessie. It’s $5 a month for the rest of my life but i do like it . Keeps track of battery usage, trips, and links to Alexa.

My uncle was a professor at MIT

She made the mistake of knowing her neighbors. It could have been a Trick-Or-Treater or an uber eats driver and she would be okay.

Of course they aren’t real. Just ask Joe.

So is Joe!

I really wish Tesla could divorce dipsh** musk. I enjoy my Y but I can’t anymore

Minors be miners

How would a bird carry a coconut?

I do miss my traffic closer alerts, but that’s all.

Or someone can let the dogs out. And we can ask “who?”

Looks like the future I want is in the past

I would hope so, imagine trying to jerk…I mean, brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. It just feels weird.