If it’s something I enjoy doing like making art? No.

If it’s something I just want the outcome of, like building furniture? Yes.

Which I realized is basically the difference in whether I would rather make something myself or buy it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So many, but several of my absolute favorites all happened in the same 2-day window years ago. I took a semester off college and traveled around the US. I rode the Empire Builder train from Chicago to Seattle, a 2-day trip.

The first was a deaf man who took that trip multiple times a year. He knew the train didn’t have enough outlets for everyone, so he brought a power strip to share with everyone and he’d monitor devices and return them when they were full battery. He and I ‘talked’ for quite a while by passing notes on his phone back and forth.

The next is the one that came to mind first for this question. I was traveling on a budget, and I have a low appetite any way, so I bought snack bars and things for the train so I could save money over the train’s food. At one point, a woman offered me a granola bar out of the blue and I turned her down but didn’t think much of it.

Half a day later, she and her partner were preparing to get off at the next stop. Her partner walked up to me and said, and I quote, “Now I know it’s none of my damn business, but do you have supple money?” It took me a moment to process what he was asking, and I told him I did. He insisted again. I ultimately didn’t take any from him, but what I realized was that the two of them had been watching this young woman, traveling alone, never getting up to go buy food for almost two days straight. They thought I wasn’t eating and offered me food and money. Total strangers. It makes me tear up thinking about them and their kindness.

The last was a young man, closer to my age who got on the train with a full on double bass. He was heading out west with plans to busk his way down the coast. He and I chatted for the last couple hours of the trip, sharing music from his MP3 player. It was an enjoyable bond that lasted only for the moment, as we didn’t exchange contact info or have any other way to connect again.

I still think about those people, and I’ll always remember that trip as one of my favorites because of those strangers.

The book The Sociopath Next Door asserts that up to 4% of people are sociopaths, defined as people who lack empathy and conscience. Many sociopaths end up being celebrities, politicians, or CEOs, as they seek fame/power/money and don’t have empathy for others acting as an internal ethical conscience; not all end up violent.

Your father and brother, and possibly even mother fall on this scale. They are just on the extreme violent side of it.

So how many households are like yours? I’d assert, based on that book, it’s a max of 4%. But more likely it’s significantly lower than that since yours is on the extreme side.

The majority of people are not like them.

I’m unclear how this is a misleading headline. There were more reports; that’s all it says. The headline doesn’t give any indication or even hint of why, just that volume = greater.

My guess before reading anything was that it was getting better at identifying and reporting cases and/or as use of their tools has increased that there is more to report, not that suddenly there was more CSAM occurring. Did you assume something different?

Either way, I’m glad to hear the reports are increasing. Makes it more likely the culprits will be identified.

Lots of advice here but I haven’t seen anyone mention coding boot camps. There are free ones like FreeCodeCamp or lots of paid options. You can do these to learn or validate what you have been taught.

My company hires associate-level software engineers directly out of college programs and boot camps. They don’t expect people from these to know everything; you may not have ever even used the language that you will be expected to code in! But by completing a program you’re showing you understand the logic of programming and that is applicable knowledge.

Look for entry-level jobs and you’ll be fine. Even better, look for companies that intentionally hire from programs like yours. They’re more likely to have internal programs to help teach new-to-career folks.

It looks to me like he has a lot of blood pooling in his hands here, so it’s possible that in the morning, at rest with his arm on a table this did reasonably match his skin.

I say this as someone with a condition that causes blood to pool in my hands, so I know how extreme the color swings can be!

I see the joke you’re making but also if you genuinely want to understand and possibly gain some empathy for these people, I’d suggest reading The Cult of Trump. It’s from 2019 so it doesn’t include a ton of awful stuff that’s happened since then, but it does a great job of contextualizing how people can fall into these belief patterns.

It was written by a man who fell into a cult in his early 20s, found his way out, and has built his career around helping others out of cults and cult-like mindsets.

Well it’s fine to have compassion… for the right people!

The whole thing is framed to make it out that these people are empathetic and caring, and that trait they have is being abused by the wrong people. Refusing to empathize with those people doesn’t mean they are no longer empathetic!!

(Total BS, obviously. But that’s the loophole that they use to make this argument.)

I recently finished reading The Cult of Trump by Steven Hassan. It’s from 2019 and so depressing with how much has happened since then that’s not accounted for, but it was interesting insight into how people like that can accumulate a following. It might help answer your question.

Right?! I thought about mentioning the bright lighting and glass walls that make all the products visible. Or the window clings advertising ear piercings.

Anyway, thanks for validating my thoughts… I was very confused by the person I responded to and thought maybe the gender divide was greater than I thought, lol.

Good for you! When I got a second piercing I knew better and went somewhere they used a hollow needle instead of a gun.

A mall in my state has TWO Claire’s in it. It is one of the most bizarre traits of the mall, second only to the fact that to get to half of the mall you have to walk through a JC Penney.

This is so bizarrely different from my experience. I would bet 90% of women in my generation (millennial) who ever spent time in a mall think of Claire’s as the default place to get your ears pierced. And naturally then, to get new earrings or other jewelry.

As a teen, it was a default stop on the mall circuit every weekend; it’s where my sister and I both got our ears pierced when we turned 13, and where I got jewelry for prom and BFF keychains with friends before going off to college. I was far from popular; I was the nerd who sat at the front of the bus and read a book to avoid my bullies, etc. I only even had friends to go to the mall with as a teen because I went to a college preparatory high school where almost everyone else was a nerd, too. But despite my lowly status on the social totem pole, Claire’s was a staple.

My older sister had a boyfriend move in with her shortly after she moved out of my parents’ house. From the first time I met him I had bad vibes.

Fast forward maybe a year or so they were renting a house and adopted a dog together. His “job” was motorcycle racing, so my sister basically just covered all costs. When they broke up, they aligned on who would get what with parents as mediators. He kept the dog, she kept the TV, etc.

He moved out while she was at work and took the TV, but he forgot all his motorcycle gear in one of the closets. So he had to come back with his tail between his legs to get that after stealing from her. She got the dog back at that point.

General scumbag. My intuition had no reason but was right!