Yes but now the towel has poo water on it

Not pictured: the wet spot on the back of their pants.

Seriously, how do bidet enjoyers dry their asses?

I am so glad a black man beat Strom Thurmond’s record, mostly because it would piss of Thurmond so much.

Edit: Like Jesse Owens at Hitler’s Olympics.

Animalia had their chance

I’m telling you that when you’re ready you can hack the planet

Ben & Jerry’s has been political since the days of flash animation

Free Luigi Lime Pie

God can also give people permission to commit genocide. Just ask the Amalekites. Oh wait…

“Keep Christ in Christianity” would make a great bumper sticker for a couple weeks till some Christian defaces it

A plumbus

My fiancé works at a vet clinic that uses it and she says the doctors love it. The customers, however, don’t like that there’s an AI that listens to their visit so they just say it’s “software”

I’m assuming every ska band is so far off the left edge we can’t see them.

As someone who supports vaccines but opposes adulthood I’m torn on this

In that case none of them work

“This is a collect call from ‘mompracticeisoverpickmeup’ do you accept the charges?”

I really suggest you read Graeber’s “Debt” to get a more complete picture of how economies can work. It’s not all giant stone discs.

Plus there’s tons of ways gold can be adulterated. Devaluing gold currency is incredibly easy, as is shaving or sweating the coins to get your own gold.

I was briefly employed at a firm that maintained the sales commission software for a large telecom firm.

It was 1.5 million lines of VB6, though VB8 was already three years old. Nobody knew all of it, so they couldn’t possibly rewrite it to handle all the edge cases and special incentives we kept having to add.

Except maybe the lone QA person, who would frequently begin sobbing at her desk. And we could all hear it because it was an open plan office and we weren’t allowed to wear headphones.

That job was so bad I quit and began freelancing.

Looks like I made the right choice by not saving money at all and working until I die.

Functional, yes. But rarely are these sorts of things efficient. They’re covered in decades of cruft and workarounds.

Which just makes them that much harder to port to a different language. Especially by some 19 year old who goes by “Big Balls”

There’s a universe where the Christmas Truce of 1914 has held to this day and I wish I was in it.