My Amazon Fire that I’ve had for ten years finally bricked itself. I’m positive they did it on purpose. I only paid $100 for it, so I guess I still got my money’s worth out of it.

We definitely need more Luigis, these fucking assholes aren’t getting the message.

Maybe that’s why they used to call it “hydrophobia”.

I moved from Nebraska to North Carolina 20 years ago and still haven’t adjusted to the nasty taste of chlorinated water. I guess it’s better than getting cholera or e. coli.

I once visited Wilmington N.C. in the “off” season (half the price for hotels) and the water was really fucking bad. Not just chlorinated, but sulfurous. Even showering in it felt like it left a kind of residue on your skin.

Having been a 2nd and 3rd shifter most of my adult life, I miss going shopping in the middle of the night when hardly anyone was there.

Oh, I did not know that, thank you.

Yojimbo which apparently was the basis for Last Man Standing.

The Hairdresser’s Husband, a French movie I saw @25 years ago when Bravo was still doing artsy-fartsy instead of brain-rot. I took 4 years of French in H.S., but I don’t claim to be fluent.

Don’t forget Pope Benedict was in the Hitler Youth.

I actually worked with someone named Richard Glick.

“Keto friendly”. There’s a guy on YouTube who shows the effects of different foods on his blood sugar, and one brand of supposedly “keto” tortillas had almost the same effect as white bread.

Gatormobile. I can easily imagine the owner supplementing his income by poaching alligators in Florida or Louisiana.

I try like hell to avoid shopping at peak times. Before Covid, I could shop at 2am, but now I’m one of the oldsters waiting for the place to open at 7 or 8am.

I also like Antiques Roadshow, but only the American version. I don’t give two shits about your mums tea set that was signed by the Queen’s dog-wrangler that you paid 50 quid for that’s now worth 200 pounds.

Alcoholics, people who take Metformin (diabetes med), and people who eat at Bojangles. I’ve cut out two of these, see if you can guess which two.

“Now give me back my rights, you baldy bastard!”

My dipfuck younger brother once stuck some chicken wire in an outlet, and scared the shit out of himself. I had acquired the chicken wire in order to make a turtle trap, that ended up working too well.

Probably slightly less than they already do.

Fucking hell.

I’m old enough to have watched the show Davey and Goliath that Moral Orel was a parody of, which made it even funnier to me as an atheist who was forced to go to church as a kid. It wasn’t even that my mother believed the bullshit, she just wanted to be rid of me and my brothers for a couple of hours so she and my step-dad could play “slap and tickle”.

Thanks hotdogcharmer, you little hot dog charmer!