Nobody has ported Doom to a Himalayan salt lamp.
Yet.
This is your opportunity!

I am going to blame Microsoft, because “works out of the box” shouldn’t conflict with “secure out of the box.”

And while I won’t blame Linus for insecure-by-default Linux configs, I will blame whoever integrated the distro/dockerfile/etc.

I remember when the local Safeway had one of these! I’m pretty sure that was in the '70s, though. It’s just slightly possible that I might be old.