I’m also talking about 15-20 years ago.
The influences I had were furries (queers), science/scifi nerds, academics, service members of the military who were otherwise separated from community, etc. The internet brought us together.
It was that or rural Florida where if you went outside and got stabbed by one of those poison palm you’d just get told that those have to be there because they kept the slaves from escaping the circus in the good old days.
What you’re talking about with kids today is what I mean about them being canaries.
I agree with your final sentence applied to any corporate-owned website operating for profit, as long as you remove the word “developing”.
The solution isn’t to ban kids, it’s to ban the toxic sites, practices, and incentive structures.