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Cake day: August 5th, 2023

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  • Why are people so weird about sex? It’s nothing special. It happens all around the world, probably millions of times per day, we’re all here because of it, it’s natural, and with consent it is probably one of the least harmful things humans can do to each other. People should be given the place and time to engage in sexual activities comfortably, safely, and lovingly. They should be able to get to know their own bodies and explore those of others to learn and have fun.

    It’s the parents’ job to create a good environment where the children can feel comfortable talking to them about sex and learning important lessons from them e.g that porn is not a good representation of what happens in a bedroom, how important communication during sexual activities is (verbal or otherwise), how every partner is different, and so on.

    Be the good parent.



  • If that really is what they meant, they are still regarding it as “good” or “bad” through the lens of monogamy. Free love, polyamory, and all that jazz don’t necessarily bind themselves to the disney interpretation of love “one partner forever and if you don’t, you’ve failed”.
    Some people are happier having multiple partner sequentially or in parallel. Some may have one stable partner and at the same time multiple others that come and go while retaining that stable / main / primary partner. Others may move in and out of relationships with the same people simply because they have other definitions of “relationship”. And so much more.

    The evaluation of “good” is highly subjective.



  • How would you define “success”? 50% of marriages end, there are less people getting married and they are doing so later in life. I can’t remember the numbers but it wouldn’t surprise me if the majority of people who did marry had at least one partner beforehand. Did the end of the previous relationships mean they were “unsuccessful” at relationships?

    Also, would how the relationship ended be taken into account? A relationship ending because “you cheated on me you bitch” with an ensuing shouting match is probably very different a mutual breakup due to distance, time, or other factors.

    Additionally, it would require defining “relationship”. There are people who serially monogamous and have many short-lived flings are those “relationships”?

    And happiness is important too. There are people who are in the same relationship for decades but deeply unhappy with their partner but can’t leave.

    I fear for how any such would be misrepresented in the media. “Study with one-dimensional definition of success says monogamy better than polyamory”. “Study with 1000 couples in a university of which 10 were poly says polyamory is a failure”.



  • atro_city@fedia.iotoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    6 days ago

    Such emotions are often can be triggered by ignorance - that’s not a negative, we are all ignorant in one way or another. What counts is what we do with that ignorance. Your daughter is in a polyamorous relationship or something similar to that. I would recommend you educate yourself about what that is, what kinds of healthy poly relationships can exist, what kinds of unhealthy ones can, and learn how to accept that your daughter is different - just like you are.

    Seminal reading on the subject, which I would also recommend your daughter pick up, is The Ethical Slut.

    Edit: You are not a bad person for feeling what you feel. But you are an intelligent being, capable of thought and reasoning, that doesn’t have to simply give in to emotions. How would you feel if somebody found out about something that makes you you, felt icky, and did nothing to question that emotion but simply gave in and treated you accordingly regardless of your other attributes?