narrator: Nothing was done about it

The cheaper side is a VPN and a pirate’s life for me.

You should start responding with “You’re welcome”. Because if Jesus hadn’t died for their sins, they wouldn’t be Christian.

Just replace the pronouns.

“Hi. Steve was wondering if Steve could go ahead and start Steve’s next project since Steve’s current project is now in review? Steve would be working with Kevin on Steve’s next project and Steve knows that Kevin is wrapping up Kevin’s project this week so Steve and Kevin could start next week”

Doesn’t that sound so much more professional? 🙄

Ok, hear me out… Train station in the shape of a bald eagle with the covered track area leading out shaped like a gun penis for the eagle. The engine is shaped like a bullet, and the cars all have flames down the sides so it goes extra fast.

Hey, you’re right! I’m worth -$248,657.36 (yes, that’s a negative sign). Am not rich at all.

So if I have a pot on my back porch and I grow some basil in it, does that make me a farmer? Can I start shooting the delivery drivers who are bringing packages to my door?

Just stop being ambiguous. Give a specific date, because based on the number of answers here “next Saturday” could mean anything from last week to 6 years from now (yes, I’m being dramatic for effect).

So if I jerk off on the firehouse steps can I claim I’m just using the Safe Harbor law?

“Yeet” (because, you know, it’s a throw pillow)

They’ll increase hourly wages by $0.50/hour. … And decrease employee hours to 10 hours/week.

I have, for a long time, used the phrase “speaking of segues” to change the subject in a conversation.

Technically tips were originally given upfront to ensure good service, not after the fact.

Hey GreyTechnician, are you a good bot or an evil bot?

Instructions unclear…

09, 108, 1107, 11106, 111105

Religion is insanity.

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers… People shoot up schools

Everyone loses their minds so someone gets naked.

I’ve genuinely never had that experience at Target. I can scan everything in my cart without once putting it in the bagging area and the self-checkouts at Target don’t give a shit.

Vacula. Because he sucks your… dust.

Hey now! Bullets ain’t free.

If only the cops had some way to record the interaction to prove that he pushed them.