don

Captain Obvious and his sidekick Keen Boy once again out there fighting their archenemy Oblivitar

Placebos >> vaccines*

*~where memes are concerned~

The mouth to mouth part is no longer medically advised, in favor of effective chest compressions.

You now only have to think about how you’re going to perform effective chest compressions on an animal whose anatomy you don’t understand at all (or even if you’re supposed to do them to begin with), and, assuming you should do them, keep doing them until a veterinarian qualified to resuscitate a giraffe can be flown in from thousands of miles away.

Good news! You got this. Have fun!

Caroline’s religious beliefs, however, did nothing to stop her from gleefully swan diving into Charles’ debauchery with wild abandon.

ABC couldn’t just have said “found herself in a tough spot”, absolutely had to shoehorn “sticky” in with a pile driver

The serene look on that person’s face is inspiring. “Yes, I do this all the time, and you should, too.”

It’s delicious!

When there’s a booger up in there, I do not fuck around.

Well, shit, if they’re taking orders, I’ll have a bhuna gosht with basmati and an order of naan, please.

Let’s deporting Nazis then.

It’s outrageous for him to claim it’s outrageous for us to properly identify him as Nazi, his being Nazi and all.

Fahrvergnügen.

IYKYK

Seriously tho How the hell lower boobies bigger?

(cricket chirps, but halfway through stops, sees who’s talking, and quietly leaves.)

Bam. Right here. It’s all about that weight distribution, simple as. First time I grabbed a carton by the light end, my stomach dropped. Not having that, no way.

Republicans: glad this won’t happen to me, this is exactly what we voted for!

RIP my sides at you feeling the need to make an edit explaining what the downvotes already fucking show us. Your head’s so far up your own ass that I’d bet solid money it’s on its way for a third fucking pass.

Edit: get fucked for even asking the question.

Amazon. Their rings are pretty cheap.

Considering the density of neutronium, a 70 lb piece would be about the size of a dust mote, if not much smaller. Good luck getting a standard box to hold something that small and dense.

CW2 when