dream_weasel

Weird non sequitur. Maybe you can bring the fatal crash rate for teens vs failure rate for condoms? There’s no substance here to reply to, and I have covered most of these in other comments in the thread. If you want to show a stat that shows you’re more likely to die as a teen in a fatal car accident than you are to have a pregnancy with a condom, I’m listening.

I made the analogies because I was out and about. Now I’m at a computer, so if you’d like me to be more specific I can.

The gist is a) tell your kids about sex and provide them contraception, b) give your kids everything in a) and ALSO encourage that to happen by co-sleeping them with their significant others, and c) you don’t ever take your eye off your kids and hawk them so they go around you and don’t trust you. I think a) is most sane. The rest of the contributors to the thread think b).

I’m making analogies because to me they are all the same. People will do this thing as teens, and it is a thing that are generally adult things because consequences are high. A) inform them and support them, B) smack them on the ass and turn them loose to do this thing, give them the supply, the coaching, and the location!, C) strictly prohibit the thing so your kids go do it unsafely.

It’s not just a choice between B and C.

I didn’t have kids until my 30s. There’s a lot of stuff to do, and not everyone wants to be a very young parent. That said, I was sexually active at 17, but it was more special occasions than a regular affair.

There’s always a risk of pregnancy and you don’t know what your partner is going to choose, ESPECIALLY if you’re the guy in the relationship. If a mistake happens because you sent your kid to the bedroom and now they have a kid, well, now they’re an adult and out of choices. And now it’s kind of on you. Teenagers can be responsible and smart, but that doesn’t mean they’ve got the same perspective and clarity they have as they get even 5 years older. I support my children and want to be a safe harbor, as I think most people in this thread do, but there’s a good reason not to encourage risky behavior.

??? I had sex and told my parents. They didn’t do me a solid and say “hey, your room is clean, come home and shack up, it’ll be safe and I know you’d like a place to do it”. There’s a difference between prohibiting sex and giving the wink and sending them up to bed. Nobody is saying they gotta hide it, just that you don’t have to turn down the bed either.

You can be a resource to kids and also just not give them whatever they want, even without estranging them.

How is it disingenuous?

Making it safe would be buying condoms for your kids. You don’t have to watch over their shoulder while they watch a movie or whatever other things kids do. Have girlfriend come sleep in your kid’s bed at 17 is absolutely saying “;) go do what teenagers do”. That’s totally different than safe. That’s endorsing a hookup. Next GF same thing? Congrats, it’s a hookup hotel.

Oh sure! Yeah buy the condoms, but the test kits, pick kids up no questions asked from anywhere. The thing about pregnancy is only one person carries a baby and you can’t force the outcome on that person. That includes morning after pills, abortions, adoptions, or anything.

Providing the space IS facilitating though. If you send your kid up to bed with their sig other at 17, you KNOW what is coming. It’s exactly the same as buying a beer for your kid’s party. They can and will find a time, you don’t have to put a mint on the pillow.

Kids that have the presence of mind to ask this question are not raw dogging at the state fair. Getting to that stage is the good parenting part. You can even buy the condoms as a parent if you want. But that doesn’t mean you provide turn down service, mints, and send them up to bed after dinner.

Would you agree that it is still poorly advised to buy them a six pack every time they clean their room?

You don’t have to say “Aw jeez, teen boys only wanna slam. I better make sure he gets all his jollies at home”. Kids will figure out a way, but there’s a lot of room for interpretation between “It’s thursday, bring sally over and get it on,” and “Jimmy got caught with sally under the overpass”.

That is a false dichotomy. You don’t have to be a direct obstacle for sex or learning to be a person. You can be a realist about it.

So first, this is parent of a guy. This means if GF gets pregnant, you do not know what is going to happen. That’s a life altering thing. This should be a huge consideration, and it’s not a consideration that a horny 17 year old guy has a really profound perspective on. I remember what that was like, and that was the year I lost my virginity as well.

There are 3 choices not 2, and it’s easier to analogize to alcohol, but it’s transferable. I don’t want to write a novel on mobile.

A) You are the house where your kid learns about alcohol. There is a safe environment and one time you buy a sixer and let them see what it’s like to drink them. This is very sane.

B) You are the house where your kid (and their friends) underage drink. This is irresponsible. You do not need to provide alcohol to teenagers whenever they clean their room or whatever. “OH they are going to drink anyway, so let’s be safe!” Yo… that’s a nonsense argument. You be the parents that go make pickups from any place, at any time no questions asked. THAT is sane. Providing alcohol to your kids, or looking the other way when they drink on the regular is fucking nuts. That is what the comment I replied to sounds like. “You cleaned your room, sure, bring your gf over and bang her brains out. Good work champ.”. Are you kidding me?

C) You are the house where booze is not allowed. You pour all the alcohol out in your house because you have a teenager. Your cabinets are locked. Whenever your kid is home and friends come over, you draw lines on the liquor bottles. You bust out your portable breathalyzer and you make the kids blow before bed and when they wake up. This is also totally insane. This is how your kids go out and make bad mistakes.

Your kids can (and will) have sex in your house without facilitating sleepovers, lol. You can be a safe harbor for discussion and mistakes without just serving up sexy time or any other vice in the name of being “approachable and safe”.

What the fuck lol.

How is pregnancy less serious than getting picked up for public intox or a ticket for underage consumption? That’s a huge deal. If this is your daughter asking you might have more insight, but it’s her body and her choice. Getting roped into being a dad at 17 is a pretty big deal. Like change-the-course-of-your-life big.

You can reasonably say that a kid will lose virginity and try alcohol or marijuana or whatever as a high schooler. It’s part of learning who you are as a person. A parent should be a coach. That does not mean that you buy the booze, you buy the weed, and you send your son up to slam after dinner every time he cleans his room.

She sleeps in a different room, but sure she can come. And there will be checks that people go to sleep, stay asleep, and wake up in the beds they start in.

Sex happens. Sex is fun. As a parent, acknowledging that is normal. Having good talks is normal, running a hookup hotel for a high schooler is ABSOLUTELY NOT normal. The consequences of mistakes are high. Expect it to happen and explain the risks, but that doesn’t mean you should make it easy.

I think the answer is still no.

Have those talks of course. The sex is going to happen around that age, but as a parent it is still not your job to make it easy, yeah? This is facilitating that situation. You can raise a reasonable person but still acknowledge that some things just aren’t a good idea.

This reads to me like if the same situation were presented and so says “can my friends and I have a bottle of vodka at the lan party tonight”. SURE it’s important to talk to kids about this and maybe even let them figure out what to expect in a controlled setting, but the consequences of mistakes are still VERY HIGH. There is a difference between being reasonable / acknowledging reality, and being a facilitator.

That’s a cataclysm. Capitalism is a criminal act conducted with computers and resulting in violence, destruction, or death of targets in an effort to scare people and coerce a government to alter it’s policies.

Nope

We just swap who flies each leg

I need more coffee…

“Ok this time I’ll control the left side, you do the right!”

Lol oops.

Kiwizza is too far

So where do I go raise hell with my reddit accounts that have not yet been banned? Automod seems to catch me fast at high pop subs for posts… But maybe the answer is making comments. Idk.

Yeah this is a pretty dumb take. If all social media is stealing your info, then they are still all stealing your info. This is not “if everyone has superpowers nobody does,” it’s just a dipshit thing to say.

How dumb do you have to be? By the time you make that much money you should, in theory, know the answer definitively or have a guy.