The problem is not cars that use software - that is inevitable and OTA updates are far superior (if properly secure) than having to take the thing into a shop.
The problem is these people can’t or won’t write databases and systems that transfer from one data center to another. That stinks of either incompetence or bad faith.
Ask your partner to help carve out time for you and the family to do something together- play cards, board games, cook together, whatever. Something where conversation can happen but isn’t the main focus.