How pro-life of them

Don’t bother with ABP. Use AdGuard, uBlock Origin, and Privacy Badger.

I’m going to say that watching sports counts, so we’re in for some Hockey Helldivers

No platform pays nearly as well as YouTube does on average. If they upload to other platforms, and you watch the content on those other platforms, they’re going to make significantly less money than if you watch on YouTube. Even if there’s increased reach from uploading to multiple platforms, the creator will almost certainly make less—so there’s less than no incentive for them to upload elsewhere.

I hope none of the stock exchanges have captchas, otherwise they might have trouble selling…

That is already a somewhat solved problem