My theory is that not all people are hardliners. They are misrepresented for the opposing propaganda. It’s always exciting to present the other side with full outrage.
I personally think that outrage is evil. It polarizes and is not based on facts, but emotions. People who produce and publish outrage want to destroy the country and its society.
That’s why you won’t see much of the things you’re worried about. You’ll only see tendencies, because there’re really a few hardliners somewhere.
Putin is scared of NATO. The surrounding countries joining the organization limit Russian power. It’s possible to cut Russia off from many strategic routes, when encircled.
From his viewpoint, he must destroy Ukraine totally, with all its people. The probability of joining NATO is too high.