This feels tantalizingly close to the truth.

lol

What the fuck are “unregretted user minutes”? I regret every minute any user spends on that site, so it should be zero.

And twitter. And mastodon. And lemmy ffs, we’re not immune. (I’m doing it right now, in fact.)

Because as a society we’ve forgotten how to throw bricks at bad people

Of course you understand some dog barks, you just don’t think about it because humans process language innately, we have specialized brain structures for it.

I’ll bet you can recognize “I see a threat” and 'I’m in pain" when you hear them. Maybe even distinguish them from “happy excitement”

I don’t get this one, what’s the hol up