Subconscious self-loathing as a result of trying to memory hole something evil I did when very young.
Also a desperate reliance on others’ praise and approval due to emotional abuse from my mother.
A warped model of accomplishment resulting from all the praise I got for easily mastering concepts, coupled with vicious gaslighting and moral attacks I suffered whenever I strove for something difficult.
And many other things which I’m just starting to uncover.
I kind of feel like a programmer sleuthing out bugs in a product, but while I spend time sleuthing out the cause of my product not working, the trade show is half over.
What was the holdup that ended up preventing you from getting ahead?
Subconscious self-loathing as a result of trying to memory hole something evil I did when very young.
Also a desperate reliance on others’ praise and approval due to emotional abuse from my mother.
A warped model of accomplishment resulting from all the praise I got for easily mastering concepts, coupled with vicious gaslighting and moral attacks I suffered whenever I strove for something difficult.
And many other things which I’m just starting to uncover.
I kind of feel like a programmer sleuthing out bugs in a product, but while I spend time sleuthing out the cause of my product not working, the trade show is half over.
Cripling anxiety and despair.
I’m here for you. I can relate to that.