It is roughly three feet away from me.
Complications: if I scoot or stand in most of the ways that I can conceive of accessing it, this hastens the heat death of the universe by increasing my metabolic rate and consumption of energy, I think.
As a negative utilitarian, I feel my best moral decision in this moment is to go back to sleep. However, the television is off and I cannot sleep without a twelve hour video on banned Yugi-oh cards. (Pot of Greed assuages my concerns about thermodynamics some, I think.)
How do I turn my tv on?
Props for a shitpost with such depth of depravity, especially since even a single response here will increase entropy more than you getting up and turning the TV on multiple times a day for the rest of your life.
And here’s the kicker, that pales into insignificance when compared with watching a twelve hour video.