Not sure about 900 miles, but you can avoid shouting by…
learning sign language and lip reading and get a telescope.
learning morse code so you can use blinking light.
learning smoke signalling.
Get a pigeon or 2.
I only buy my plane tickets at the airport on the day of travel with handfuls of cash pulled from a carrier bag while wearing a blood-stained shirt. I punctuate that start of every sentence by slamming my first on the desk and the end of the sentence with “goddamnit”.
SLAM “If I do upgrade to Business, will I be able to recline my seat without interrupting the person behind’s meal?” SLAM “And is The Grand Budapest Hotel still available onboard or do I need to download it first, goddamnit?”
Chat
I can’t shout loud enough for people 900 miles away to hear me
Practice, practice, practice.
Not sure about 900 miles, but you can avoid shouting by… learning sign language and lip reading and get a telescope.
learning morse code so you can use blinking light. learning smoke signalling.
Get a pigeon or 2.
Buy a plane ticket (but buying a ticket offline the day of is suspicious)
I only buy my plane tickets at the airport on the day of travel with handfuls of cash pulled from a carrier bag while wearing a blood-stained shirt. I punctuate that start of every sentence by slamming my first on the desk and the end of the sentence with “goddamnit”.
I bet you aren’t picky. Just the next flight out of the state is fine.
Why would you think that?
SLAM “If I do upgrade to Business, will I be able to recline my seat without interrupting the person behind’s meal?” SLAM “And is The Grand Budapest Hotel still available onboard or do I need to download it first, goddamnit?”
I did