Them: “You don’t have anything to be depressed about!”
Me: “I know”
Them: “So why aren’t you happy?”
Me: “Because that’s not how it works!”

I’ve been in therapy for so long, I basically understand it well enough intellectually to be able to help others.

I know exactly how it’s supposed to help me, but deriving actual benefit or being able to apply the techniques to myself has never been the slightest possibility.

a lot makes sense when the psychosis hits

I am in a state of perpetual argument with my self.

Over thinking and imagining impossible scenarios and losing all my mood all the time. Otherwise I am a logical person.