You laugh, but my son did something similar. He said “daddy I know you’re going through a hard time right now but I can help you carry your groceries” and I said “son, you’re 38 years old, why the hell haven’t you moved out yet?”

He shouldn’t have gotten his dentures from Acme.

I once had a group chat that got leaked. There’s a possibility that it may have involved some light treason.

Mind your ps and qs. What are ps and qs?

The GameCube cases also came with a pizza roll holder but it was a little too small.

Sex: not getting any cause I was fired

Why was I born with eyes?

My car breaking down at a railroad crossing while a train is coming towards me.

I learned about her from Double Dare.

Where is the one on the left no longer available? I live in the US and see those all the time.

Look, we all can’t get into Yal6, okay.

Baseball stadiums usually cut off alcohol sales after the 7th inning, which allows for fans to somewhat sober up before the end of the game.

The one on the top right is a Honda. I know bekcause it has the H, that’s how you know it’s a Honda.

Even Cousin Bob’s funeral?

A soup place I go to started to charge $3 for its once free bread. When I asked about it, they said “no soup for you!” and “come back one year!”. Then they took away my soup. At least I got my money back.

As an American, I had to work out the Roman Numerals the only way I know how: using Super Bowls. So the 1st Super Bowl is Super Bowl I (Packers over Chiefs), the 2nd Super Bowl is Super Bowl II (Packers over Raiders), and the 50th Super Bowl is Super Bowl 50 (Broncos over Panthers). Putting this together I get:

I II II 50

I’m at a loss as to what it could mean.

And if you wait long enough it’ll end anyway.

But how else am I supposed to find out that my car warranty expired?

I don’t have to get in the forever box because I’m Homer Simp-

Strangers never offer me free candy.