It’s a trap. Like in the famous documentary, ‘The Santa Clause’, if you examine the crash site the drivers body will disappear and YOU will become the Door Dasher, and be required to fulfill all of their commitments.
I hate capitalism.
0.3 what away from me? Miles? Kilometers? Meters? Units matter - I’m not driving to the other side of town just to pick up a bloody pizza.
bloody pizza
It said it might be damaged. We don’t know how bad the accident was and how much blood was involved
Obviously nautical miles
“your Dasher has died in a collision but here’s a pin drop in the chance you can collect your order from the wreckage”
“sEnD fLoWeRs tO yOuR dAsHeR’s hOsPiTaL rOoM” 💀
this isn’t real right? lol
Nope
Needs instructions for in person pickup.
“Your dasher wears a medical bracelet identifying his next of kin. To expedite access to the crime scene to retrieve your order (1x bagel bites, 4x lubricant and 1x grain alcohol) dash++ members can unlock this name to then pose as a direct relation when authorities ask.”
nO tIp No TrIp 😂
I actually had this happen once. Dasher got in an accident
The app just showed his car going in circles around the point he crashed
Probably hit a fairground carousel
“Your dasher crashed, but based on his tracking, he’s still crawling towards you. This could induce some delay. If you go meet him on the way, you can get a rebate on your tipping fees!”
Double oopsie! Your driver delivering flowers to your other driver was in an accident! Would you like to deliver flowers to the driver who was delivering flowers?
Would you like to leave any feedback to your driver? If you purchase a funeral wreath we can print your comments on a card and attach it
Sir you can’t be on this side of the police tape. Are you are related to the deceased?
No, but I’m just going to snag my Mickey Donalds right quick and I’ll be out of your way.
Is this a late stage capitalism?
👨 🫴🦋
I need to make sure you know this is a joke photo composed with digital tooling. You do know that, right?
Only the "send flowers’ is the joke part.
No lats stage would have you, the person whom ordered the food, responsible for the gig workers hospital stay - as you are their employer.
Click here to begin crowdfunding your dasher’s ER visit.
it would probably be more along the lines of you having to pay potentially lost profits directly to the company, while the driver has to pay his own bills… and the driver has to pay for potentially lost profits too
Always has been
No seriously, the term “late stage capitalism” is so old, it has existed longer than capitalism exited before its coinage. So if this really is the last stage, this last stage is already longer than the stages before were.
Late stage, so far.
No, looks like a man releasing a butterfly to me.
0.3 away
Away what? Apples? Eggs?
I accidentally 0.3 away. Is this dangerous?
.3 of a delivery, duh.
As in, they were .7 of the way done when they crashed.
0.3 “inspect element”s away from you
Most well universally known measurement system is likely light years, so probably that
The SI base unit for length is the meter, so they crashed 30cm (12 inches) away from you.
Seeing as everything else in the notification seems to be about money, I’m guessing 0.3 dollars.
Surprised they didn’t suggest getting another delivery driver for half price to bring it the rest of the way.
You can send flowers to the hospital room tho
Denny’s
Texas AveMiles.
Yep. Looks like College Station, Texas.
Jfc yeah name a road after your state.
Although there’s an Uruguay Avenue in Montevideo so 🤷
I like the Moscow/Saint Petersburg system, wherein they both have avenues/highways named after the other city, leading to said city.
0.3 away from yous
This is fake?
Yup
The real nightmare is you can’t even tell anymore.
It had me until the flower button. Doordash would never
They’d never what, attempt to profit off of an emotional reaction by presenting an option that most wouldn’t even have thought of on their own but kinda makes you feel guilty to decline?
my exact feelings, I am more horrified at the fact that I am still not sure if this is fake or not (without actual fact checking ofcourse)
It was. But now, if the idea makes it to the right executive…
It may be the one dude that does nothing but come up with dystopian UIs
Dystopian? Or just the beta version?
This particular image may be, but this is a real thing that happens of the dasher is in a wreck while completing your order.
Why u lie homie
“Would you like to call an UberAmbulance?”
Ahem, an Ubulance.
Oopsie woopsie. It wooks wike your uwu dwiwu was in a wiwwy bad caw cwash. Would you wike to caw an ambuwance?
hell yes
Too expensive, I think I’ll go with a Waymo Autonombulance. The Dasher can do self-CPR
