Personally I call shenanigans having had executive and standard office chairs made of leather, pleather and nylon mesh.
None of these are comfortable on the bare butt, and even will get sticky once you start sweating against them, so I’ve always had to drape towels between me and the chair.
Also do not get leather / pleather if you have cats.
do y’all not wear underwear while sitting on the chair?
At home I own a leather Secret Lab computer chair. Very nice, but they explicitally warn everyone at before, at purchase and during assembly to not sit on it while naked.
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
i uh, i don’t think it’s normal to have an itchy and smelly bumhole, regardless of how you wipe
If you can’t afford one, or rent, or wander around, travel bidets are about $20-$30 and are a water bottle with a hook-shaped wand-spout and an air valve.
My proctologist has a personal vendetta against wiping, and I messed up my piles from ages of wiping too hard. Bidet and dab to dry.
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
Having tried simple bidets in both warm, cold, and neutral-ish climates, I find that cold water bidets seem to stiffen the poo bits and make it hard to actually get them off your butt esp since they stick to the hairs. You and I might be talking about different levels of cold, though.
A cold Bidet booty blast in the morning will wake you up better than a cup of coffee.
So you know that ice cold water sprayed into your ass can give you brain freeze, right?
😂
what brand? i tried a biobidet and was horribly disappointed with the water strength compared to my cold non electric
The vivohome with knob, not remote.
Pressure is great, too much actually, depending.
I got it because it was the cheapest one with all the features, and in fact is even cheaper now than when I bought it.
It’s been going strong for 3 and a half years now
A shower with soap is best, preferably after a different method. But whatever it’s your house, you can shit direct to shower if you like.
If you got poop on you anywhere else. Dry wiping it would not be sufficient. Rinsing it off and patting it dry would not be sufficient. You would wash with soap.
That said, I have a bidet I use some of the time and plain old TP the rest of the time.
yup, i sit on the edge of the batch and get it with warm water and shower gel usually
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I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.
The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.
I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can’t use one.
But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can’t in public. Also what’s it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?
It is literally a small bottle with a folding spigot thingie. I do clean mine with soap and water every once in a while, but it is kinda hard to get dirty.
For some reason I am offended that you used a / between itchy and smelly implying that it will be both.
if there is poo left there, it will be both
It absolutely can be both
A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.
Every time I see this pop up, I’m reminded of this chair I saw once at my old place of employment.
spoiler
Nooooooo
eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass properly are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene
But… How the fuck is it getting on the chair? Sitting there naked and grinding it in!?
If it’s fabric then the smell will permeate into it and stay there. Certain things like vinegar and baking soda might get rid of or lessen smells though.
Get the cheapest vodka and a spray bottle, works great on all upholstery smells
The part not seen here is that the guy hadn’t showered for over a week “because CSGO2 just came out”.
Farting while sitting on it would be my guess
That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.
People should not rip on the guy unless he is one of those “it’s gay to wipe my ass” morons. I have no idea how many, but some amount of people have issues with things like this; I know I did when I was younger. Slamming people should not be the first choice.
I agree with you, especially since he did ask for help. I have a feeling he was aware of what the issue was but was in denial about it. But, if someone were to ask me if I could sum up Reddit in a thread, that would be a contender if not the top choice as an example of what to expect. That or “what is potato”
Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.
I know. Straight girls cannot have standards. Or need to fetishize awful shit. Or die alone.
Edit: to be clear, this is because men are fucking horrible. Straight girls are tragic figures here. I hope someday we find a cure for heterosexuality, for their sake, and the incels.
I…what?
A cure for hetero. Imagine if you could casually hook up with any of your similarly cute friends. And also intuitively understamd the plot of anything made by hideo kojima.
Dude, heterosexuality isn’t some kind of disease that needs to be cured. I would take intuitive understanding of Kojima’s plots, though.
It wouldn’t be some kind of disease if men didn’t generally suck so badly. Instead we need to invent the bisexuality gas.
Holy shit This thread is hilarious I was laughing non stop for 10 mins
Still baffles me how many people are convinced that you can ‘wipe properly/thoroughly/enough’. It’s exactly for that reason that I avoid sitting down in public transportation. Anyone who either possesses the instinct of not wanting to smell like shit and/or has had the ‘privilege’ of cleaning someone else’s butt (say, a small child or an adult in need of special care) knows that the words ‘wiping’ and ‘hygiene’ can only be used in the same phrase if there’s also the words ‘wet’ and/or ‘wash’ and/or ‘soap’ in it. Otherwise…of course your f****g chair stinks.
This is actually a sad story, where the existence of this clip almost pushed the teen to suicide due to the both online and real life bullying and death threats he received. Last time I caught up they were feeling better.
that’s sad. kid clearly is autistic. it really sucks that he didn’t have anyone to support him and teach him social and hygiene skills.
fuck the bitch screaming at him. I know she’s frustrated but his timid submissive response is telling that it’s not the first time she’s treated him this way.
Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.
Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn’t gay.
is it gay to slip a finger in when the tp breaks? asking for a friend.
Why stop at just one?
Septic masculinity
Even once is more often than never.
OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.
80% chance it’s actually his mom who’s complaining.
Better be careful to not break both his arms
LMAO
That is savage AF!!!
I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn’t smell like poop.
Wow really judgemental community here
Clean your ass!
The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.
Even sitting naked shouldn’t smell like fecal matter…
With enough farting, it probably would.
i legit have this issue, though with pants not the chair
for some ungodly reason my farts are just miserable in precisely such a way that it clings to the fabric and somehow creates an even worse smell (presumably reacting with something in the fabric? lord knows). Like it doesn’t even take a full day to build up, i hate it.
Those Must be the smelliest ones on the face of the earth
Or have a chair napkin if you’re gonna insist on being naked
Now that’s going too far
Exactly, also faux leather is my bane that stuff is the worst. The texture is awful
I have a real leather chair, but a spandex cover because I’m a sweaty boi and like to sit cross legged.
It really makes my anus sweat
You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.
I also judge this guy.
I also judge this guy’s dead wife.
I also judge this guy’s fake girlfriend
guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it’s brown now because of the smell. I’ve been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can’t let her see the room because I’ve smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can’t get the smell out dad said he’s going to force me to get a job!
I didn’t know Asmongold was on Lemmy!
